A New Day.

I guess I really suck at this blogging thing. It has been a while since I have even been over here myself. Today is a new day. Yesterday, I had an epifany. I have hit my rock bottom. I am done. I should have been here a long time ago. Alas, I was not. Today is a new day. Even tho I have lost close to 50 pounds since starting this journey over a year ago, I feel just as fat as ever. It is ridiculous.

While I am 9 months post-op now, things are so not where I wanted them to be. I expected at least a new swimsuit this year. A nicer, possibly sexier one. Ya, not so much. This has been a pretty rough journey. Learning how to re-eat food and take a new thought about it is well, not as easy as it sounds. All you have to do is, chew slower, take smaller bites and take your time. You would think that would be easy. It has made me realize how much of a pig I really was. Trying to chew your food and eat slow because you know if you don't, it is going to get stuck and you are going to throw up STILL didn't stop me from eating fast. Eating fast is a TERRIBLY hard habit to break. I work in a world that doesn't allow for hour long lunch breaks, it just doesn't. CHEW your food, ENJOY your food. Nope, I still wasn't doing and pretty much throwing up, I'd say an average of 7 out of 10 meals.

So, now, here we are September 9, 2012. I am over it. I am done. Finished. Even though I am down 45 pounds from my start date, I feel as fat as I have ever been, again. I decided that I am going to try this plateau busters diet that is in my "Bandwagon" book and see how that starts off. (It's a 10 day, high protein, low carb diet)  It is all about life style changing. I know these are all things that we should have started MONTHS before I had surgery. Things that if I would have done them, there would have been no need for surgery. I only have 45 pounds left to my goal weight. I am half way there. I GOT THIS. Please, I need a cheering section. People on my team who know I am doing and can do this!  I got all my food portioned out last night. This is going to be something that I am going to have to start doing every weekend when I go shopping. Being prepared seriously, half the fight.

My goals for week number 1 are: Walk to work every day. 1 mile each way
                                                       Stay on task with my eating.
                                                        45 gm of protein
                                                        110 oz of water

My reward for week number 1 is, a new pair of exercise shoes. I need them badly.

I had already planned on starting on this "lifestyle" change earlier in the week and then my good friend Michelle showed me this picture last night. I wanted to cry. How did I let myself get so big and icky. It was 9 years ago when this photo was taken but, my god, what was I doing to myself? Also, attached is a recent picute. I've come a long way already but the road to travel is still long. Thank you so much for your support.